not like i'm counting down or anything (she doesn't tickle me in the right places like victor & rolf manage to do), but madonna's collection at h&m debuts this thursday, march 22.

everything is in variants of black and white, and i'm a tad underwhelmed by the classicism of the silhouettes. i'm warm to the abstract floral print dress, and who doesnt love a well-made leather jacket, but the separates of trousers, sweaters, and skirts are as plain-jane as your banana-republic variety. i have a hunch that the runaway successes will be the attention-getting accessories, like the wide shiny belts, the M-emblazoned sunglasses, and any bags or shoes that come along for the ride. the shirt-dresses are kind of interesting, but i feel that it'll be so hard to accommodate a wide audience (wide- or narrow- shouldered concerns, plus shaping around the bust, makes it a very difficult fit). one of the dresses in the online lookbook is so bizarrely draped that it makes the mannequin look pregnant. and that catsuit? about as unpalatable as those awful tracksuits.

however, this is one of my favourite looks of the collection:



although it does strike a biting resemblance to one of the breakout looks perfected by precious project runway darling kara janx. i mean, check out the sketch for madonna's collection:



and now observe kara's design:

anyone can make a kimono dress, yes, but the resemblance is all too uncanny.

especially for a third of the price, and by supporting a worldwide fashion corporation instead of an independent designer. but i digress.

i must confess the real appeal of this whole M collection is the creepy, slickly surreal film produced for the campaign. check it out on h&m's awkwardly flash-designed website. i highly prefer the 'director's cut' over the original version, only because it shows more of the story. something very bizarre about the victim being an asian schoolgirl and lots of underwear shots amidst italian sunglasses and a non sequitur crying fembot. madonna's inexplicably looking corporate sexy with the paper shredder and her black riding crop.

it it it it it!

dont! think it;
you need to know it

the point is made clear.

if you want to bypass all the muck on the official website, here's the director's cut of the film right here for you instant-gratification types.