i vaguely remember putting my name into some vendors' boxes during harvard square's mayfair last month...

that would have been just a fading memory, if not for the fact that i just received a call from the boca raton (red flag!) headquarters of sleek medspa. they called to report that i was luckily chosen from the mayfair lottery to get a free consultation and $100 gift certificate at one of their spas. they're right downtown, and it's on newbury, so i'm thinking it's a pretty awesome deal. mmm, spa == massage...

except i check out the website, and i discover i am probably most definitely the wrong age or the wrong ethnicity to use any of their services. *ironic heehee* so here's the lineup:

laser hair removal: um, i basically have no body hair. i dont even need to shave my legs! [please dont hate me.]
photo facial: this might be nice for evening out skintone, but i imagine it's a temporary (and addictive) fix as your skin regenerates new cells.
chemical peels microdermabrasion: just thinking about this (probably more intense version of the above) makes my face hurt.
botox: let's not go here.
vein removal: um... ew...
lip fillers: have you seen my lips?

i doubt it's superscammy, but i'm sure that the 'complementary consultation' will do its very best to convince any woman she needs a million things 'improved.'

i'm also not sure how far $100 will go here. this article mentions that "on average, prices range from $300 to $3,000." eep.

another scary writeup can be found here, where the text advertises: "they even have Botox parties to popularize this new form of anti-ageing treatment. In your battle against wrinkles, spots, veins and unwanted hair, Sleek MedSpa is your ally."

i think a better ally would come in the form of SPF, basic moisturizer, and a healthy diet. glamour is simple.

however, i'll let you know how the consultation goes. i'm sure it'll be a lot of 'yep, we've consulted you and honestly, you and your big lips need nothing done here.' 'thanks! can i get the $100 in cash instead? or at least a backrub? transferrable to anthropologie? please?'